Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Why is it so hard to understand?

I found the following article/write up in another blog and I had to copy it and put it in my blog. It really hits close to home. The other day I was talking to my mom and she doesn't understand what we are going through...the sad thing is that I don't get any support from my family about this entire journey. She told me the other day that I just have to accept that some people are just not meant to have children and it is God's will. I cried and cried she doesn't understand why I was so upset. I realized that I can't share this journey with them since I get hurt by the things that they say...I hope someday they will understand the struggles of infertility.

The ironic thing is that my mom is arriving tomorrow and she is staying with us for about 2 1/2 weeks. Her sister is having heart surgery and wants to be here for that. We will probably be cycling during the time that she is here (I go for my beta test tomorrow) and I have to use every single ounce of my energy to try and stay positive about the next cycle and not get upset about my mother and how she feels about this journey.

Again, thanks for the person who shared this "article" in their blog....reading it made me feel good.



What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?”

"Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive "advice." We can all list the most popular ones: "Just relax and you'll get pregnant," or "adopt and you'll get pregnant," of the most painful from those who think they've got the goods on God's plan, "Maybe God never meant for you to have children." The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never fails to amaze me."

These same people would never walk up to someone seeking treatment for cancer and say, "Maybe God never meant for you to live." However, because I am infertile, I'm supposed to get on with my life. It's hard to understand that people can not see infertility for what it is, a disease for which I have to seek treatment. What if Jonas Salk had said to the parents of polio victims, "Maybe God meant for thousands of our children to be cripples, live in an iron lung or die." What if he'd never tried to find a cure? Who could think for one minute that that was God's plan?"

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?"

I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility. "

No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let him down."

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known."

While I would never choose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility. I already know."

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