Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Is it okay to disagree?

S and I are in a disagreement regarding one elective procedure for this IVF...
PGD(Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis) for those who don't know, this is a procedure to test for any genetic disorder from the embryo. He wants to do it and I don't. My feeling about this situation is that if we didn't have IF and we didn't have to do IVF, then this test is not even an option for us. His argument is that since it is available to us why don't we take advantage of it.

There are still many issues surrounding this test. First of all, it is not 100% accurate. I believe it is 90% accurate but there is a disclaimer that the test might be inaccurate. Secondly, we might not even have enough eggs to perform the test. So this might be a none issue. S doesn't really understand why I feel so strongly about not wanting to do this test..maybe because I feel like we are playing God and deciding if the embryo is "good" enough to be given a life. And if they do find abnormalities, can they tell the severity of it? I am very confused. I don't want S to think that I am not considering his feelings about this, especially after he's given me all the support and love that I need in this process.

On another note, I rode the elevator with a girlfriend from work yesterday on our way home. She works part-time to be with her toddler. She is taking a few days off from work the next couple of weeks so I told her to enjoy her vacation. Her response was "oh, it's not a vacation, I am taking care of my baby, working is so much easier". This comment irritated me to no end. I've heard this from working moms in the past and before we had problems I didn't really think anything of it. But now, all I want to say to these women is that you are so lucky to have this child, you have no idea how many women would die for this opportunity.

***I guess the link didn't work so here is the website


Blogger Winnifred said...

Hi! i'm new to your blog! I have to say that we would never have done PGD without reason. We were both tested for Cystic Fibrosis (because my dh has azoospermia which they believe is linked to CF) and IF and ONLY if we both tested positive which we did NOT.

Doesn't PGD also pose a risk in that you could lose the embryo they tested? That's ok if you're testing 20 embryos - but if you're dealing with very few (we had very few :( ) we couldn't have afforded to lose on in the process.

And... like you playing god wasn't on my agenda. yes, if there was a 1/4 risk that my child would be sick for life... but beyond that - i'd prefer letting nature do it's thing :) (goodness knows this journey is FAR from natural... it's nice to keep parts natural!)

not trying to be opiniated as much as give you my points of view in case they can be of help to you :)


April 20, 2006 4:04 PM  
Blogger sube said...

I have absolutely no experience with PGD, so I can offer you no suggestions, but I do know it's a tricky subject. Hope you work it out and good luck with whatever you decide. Oh yeah, and that "it's not a vacation" comment would have irked me too!

April 21, 2006 1:20 AM  
Blogger Chas said...

After all the tests they did on us, we didn't consider doing PGD..not that you shouldn't do it, we just didnt choose to. My fear was that all of the embryos would come back with something wrong and then I'd be forced to choose whether to do it at all. I guess I'd rather not know.

April 21, 2006 10:34 AM  
Blogger Mary Ellen and Steve said...

I am doing PGD because my husband has a balanced translocation, so I may be able to offer some insight here. PGD is often used in people with genetic or chromosomal abnormalities, for women over 35 years of age, recurrent IVF failures, and for women who have experienced recurrent miscarriages.

It is very safe for the embryo as long as the embryologist performing the procedure is experienced with the procedure. Although, there is a slight chance that the embryo could stop growing after biopsy.

What they do is remove one or two cells via a pipette when the embryo is at the 8 cell stage, usually on day 3. This doesn't harm the embryo because at that point in development any cell can become any part of the body. Then, they fix the cell(s) to a slide and send it to a PGD lab for testing.

On day 5, they will tell you how many embryos were healthy, and transfer any healthy ones.

It is about 90% accurate. In our case, the accuracy rates are 93-95%. I think that it depends on the lab. They cannot tell you the severity of the problem if they find one, but you will probably have to have a genetics consult before the procedure. They will be able to give you an idea of what sorts of problems the child may have if an abnormal embryo was replaced and implanted. They were able to tell us anyway.

To be honest, I wouldn't be doing this if my husband didn't have chromosome issues. I say go with your gut. If neither of you have a history of recurrent miscarriages, repeated IVF failures, or mental retardation, cystic fibrosis, or any other chromosomal issues in your family, then I wouldn't do it if your aren't comfortable.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Good luck with everything! Sorry for writing you a book. :-)

April 21, 2006 10:40 AM  
Blogger Ornery said...

I hope you and your husband are able to come to a decision that feels comfortable for the both of you.

Comments like the one made by your co-worker sometimes irk me, too, especially if the person who made it knows about my fertility problems. I completely sympathize with the exhaustion and self-sacrifice that comes with having children, and I know that most mothers don't take their children for granted. But I can't help but wish sometimes that they wouldn't make light of something they have that I so desperately want.

April 21, 2006 10:01 PM  
Blogger ak1908 said...

I'm sorry that you and dh are not seeing eye to eye on this very sensitive issue. Perhaps taking some time to step away (although I recognize time is of the essence during IF treatments) from it and coming back to the table later might be helpful. I think it is absolutely okay to disagree. We can grow from disagreements:) Please keep us posted on what you and dh decide.

April 22, 2006 9:25 PM  
Blogger Thalia said...

I don't know why you would be doing PGD - is there a known genetic problem? If not, probably doesn't make sense to do it.

April 23, 2006 11:32 AM  
Anonymous Nikole said...

This sounds like such a complicated issue, and I hope that you and S. are able to come to a decision that you feel comfortable with. I hope that you are able to openly communicate about this so that both of you feel heard in the decision making process.

I too would have been a little put off by your co-worker's comments. She has no idea how lucky she is to be blessed with that little one. I'm sorry she was so insensitive.

April 23, 2006 1:29 PM  
Blogger Chee Chee said...

Good luck with this really tough decision. I am sure that you and S will make the decision that is right for you. Let us know what you ultimately decide.

April 24, 2006 2:48 PM  
Blogger linda said...

It's also thought that PGD might stress out very fragile, on the edge, embryos. It's a highly personal decision, whether to do PGD or not. We didn't do it on IVF #1 and we're not doing it on IVF #2.

April 25, 2006 3:51 AM  

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