First Date Was Just Okay
As I mentioned before, yesterday I had my first "date" with my OB/GYN. Overall it went okay--I like my doctor, but I don't love her--which I was actually very disappointed about yesterday. She is very business like and I guess I was looking for someone with a little more bedside manner. Then she has this weird habit of closing her eyes when she talks!!! I didn't think S noticed it, but last night at dinner he mentioned it and I just started cracking up. We started talking like her and now we are worried that during delivery she will close her eyes and drop the baby or snip my uterus incorrectly!
We talked about what I can eat, how much weight to gain, and all the different kinds of test. She talked about the downs syndrome test and S and I both felt that she really didn't care what we decided to do--she actually said this. I guess since I am turning 35 this year and I will be 35 when the baby is born, they are legally required to tell us about the test. And then she continues to say that it is a very personal decision and we can talk about it for another 30 minutes but she can't do that because she had other patients to see. Instead she referred us to the genetics department of the hospital. I was very disappointed and I really can't make a decision about it. The first trimester screening, which is what we would do if we decide to do it--won't tell you if the baby has downs, instead it will give you odds, like 1 out of 5000. I guess if your test comes back 1 in 100 they interpret that as a bad result and then it is up to you if you want to do more test like amniocentesis or cvs which will give a definite result. I guess what we are struggling with is what are we going to do with this information? If we find out that the baby has downs we both feel that terminating the pregnancy is not an option. So would we do the test just to prepare ourselves? If this is the case, then we will both be very worried the rest of the pregnancy and we both feel that this is not right either. I guess what I am saying is that if the baby had downs we are going to be sad, but it is better to know now and be prepared or enjoy this pregnancy and we will deal with it when it comes. So for now, since I am almost at the cut off for the first trimester screening, we made an appointment for the 24th and we will take this time to make a decision.
On the other P front, the puking subsided a little bit this week (knock on wood)--so I am hoping that this will continue. We did another u/s yesterday and we saw arms and legs!! It was so amazing. I am exactly 11 weeks today...one more week and we can start to share. Although, I think I am starting to show and I won't be able to hide it from my co-workers much longer. Last week one of the guys at work(okay he is gay so he is probably more in-tune) was staring at my belly--then later on that week he was poking my belly button--then finally this week he flat out asked me if I have a baby in my belly--I said no, I am just getting really fat!!
Well, on a non P or IF front--I just want to share with everyone that I purchased 2 tickets to Hawaii for $35 by using miles! I was so excited on Monday I couldn't contain myself. I guess it pays off to have your family live in Hawaii--you accumulate miles very quickly. So this will be our babymoon--our last relaxing, romantic vacation before the little one comes! We are going in September and we are planning on staying with my folks for 4 days and then heading to the Big Island or Maui for 3 days! I am so excited I can't wait!!
We talked about what I can eat, how much weight to gain, and all the different kinds of test. She talked about the downs syndrome test and S and I both felt that she really didn't care what we decided to do--she actually said this. I guess since I am turning 35 this year and I will be 35 when the baby is born, they are legally required to tell us about the test. And then she continues to say that it is a very personal decision and we can talk about it for another 30 minutes but she can't do that because she had other patients to see. Instead she referred us to the genetics department of the hospital. I was very disappointed and I really can't make a decision about it. The first trimester screening, which is what we would do if we decide to do it--won't tell you if the baby has downs, instead it will give you odds, like 1 out of 5000. I guess if your test comes back 1 in 100 they interpret that as a bad result and then it is up to you if you want to do more test like amniocentesis or cvs which will give a definite result. I guess what we are struggling with is what are we going to do with this information? If we find out that the baby has downs we both feel that terminating the pregnancy is not an option. So would we do the test just to prepare ourselves? If this is the case, then we will both be very worried the rest of the pregnancy and we both feel that this is not right either. I guess what I am saying is that if the baby had downs we are going to be sad, but it is better to know now and be prepared or enjoy this pregnancy and we will deal with it when it comes. So for now, since I am almost at the cut off for the first trimester screening, we made an appointment for the 24th and we will take this time to make a decision.
On the other P front, the puking subsided a little bit this week (knock on wood)--so I am hoping that this will continue. We did another u/s yesterday and we saw arms and legs!! It was so amazing. I am exactly 11 weeks today...one more week and we can start to share. Although, I think I am starting to show and I won't be able to hide it from my co-workers much longer. Last week one of the guys at work(okay he is gay so he is probably more in-tune) was staring at my belly--then later on that week he was poking my belly button--then finally this week he flat out asked me if I have a baby in my belly--I said no, I am just getting really fat!!
Well, on a non P or IF front--I just want to share with everyone that I purchased 2 tickets to Hawaii for $35 by using miles! I was so excited on Monday I couldn't contain myself. I guess it pays off to have your family live in Hawaii--you accumulate miles very quickly. So this will be our babymoon--our last relaxing, romantic vacation before the little one comes! We are going in September and we are planning on staying with my folks for 4 days and then heading to the Big Island or Maui for 3 days! I am so excited I can't wait!!
posted by MoMo at 9:28 AM
13 Comments:
Sorry your first ob appointment was disappointing. I have a gynecologist who is an ob/gyn and thought that I would just continue going to her when we got pregnant (we've been TTC for a while now). But the more I go to her for gynelogical appointments, the more I realize that she's kind of dismissive of my questions and wouldn't want her as an ob. It's hard shopping around for a good doc!
Have a great time in Hawaii! I am from Hawaii, too. =)
Glad to hear everything is going well, sorry about the sickness but I know you will be ok. It is important to like your doctor, since this is your first visit, are you considering looking around for another? Of course testing is an absolutely personal decision but as someone else who has decided I could not terminate a pregnancy because of downs (if I ever get pregnant) I have decided I will not do that test, what the point of worrying when there is nothing you can do about it.
I felt that my OB/GYN was also very business like, nice, but like you said, no bedside manner. I think the doctors, nurses and other staff at fertility clinics are able to connect with people on a more personal level, they have a better bedside manner. Even when they have a lot of patients to see, they take their time to talk to you. It's hard to go back to the OB.
The babymoon in Hawaii sounds great! I didn't want to leave Maui when my honeymoon ended. I'm glad that you and your hubby will be able to get away to see your family and relax before the baby arrives.
Sorry your OB isn't all you hoped for. I totally loved my OB... I could hang out with her if she wasn't my OB. LOL
Hawaii sounds wonderful. I hope to get there some day!
Take care and good luck with your testing decisions
The testing stuff is so hard--I know I blogged that I was definitely going to have the first trimester screening but now I am having the same doubts you are.
And how jealous am I that you're going to Hawaii? The Big Island is one of our favorite vacation spots, but it's just too far away to be practical for frequent trips for us. Sounds like a great babymoon!
Hawaii for $35 . . . how luck is that?? We flew with freebie miles for our wedding/honeymoon but then paid almost $300 a night for hotel. So having family there is extra lucky!
Wow, you're at 11 weeks! Congrats!
I'm sorry your OB/GYN lacks bedside manners, though at least her weird idiosyncracies give you and hubby something to laugh about.
The genetic testing issue is a difficult one, and either doing it or not is definitely a personal issue. I originally thought I would do the nuchal translucency test and even scheduled the appointment, but eventually canceled it because I didn't really know what I'd do with the information, especially since I knew I definitely didn't want to have a CVS. I will be doing the triple marker screening in a couple weeks, so we'll see how that goes.
Wow, $35 for Hawaii! What a great pre-baby honeymoon!
I am 23 weeks pregnant and had an NT scan at 15 weeks. I think it depends on the type of person you are - I am a worrier and learning that my odds for genetic problems were very slim after the scan has eased by mind immensely. If I hadn't had the test, I know I would have worried about it through the whole pregnancy. It's a very personal thing though and you do have to have some idea about how you will deal with results going in to it - good or bad. Good luck!
He poked your belly-button! OMG, I would have slugged him. Leave it to a man to ask, hey. Women, even if they have a sneaking suspicion usually have the social grace not to mention anything until told. Good grief. So glad to hear that things are going well. You are about 4 days ahead of me. I also went for an u/s and saw them moving around which was cool. Great news about Hawaii. Funny, I have the Lonely Planet Hawaii here because we were supposed to be going to Thailand this fall and now it looks like we would prefer to go somewhere a bit more western. When are you going?
That stinks about your doctor. Maybe she will be better next visit.
I'm with you on finding out early about the d.s. simply because I wouldn't want to have that news broken to me on delivery day! Plus, I am a freakish worrier and would want to read every book ever written to prepare myself. lol.
Sorry about your doctor. After everything you've been through, you'd think the doctor could have a little more heart! I hope the baby continues to grow and do well!
I have played the Down syndrome debate in my head for years. I actually have dreams that my child will have Ds, which is fine with me, but I have no idea why I do it. Anyway, what I really wanted to say is that I recently wrote an article about 1st Trimester Ds testing. Let me know if you'd like me to send it to you. I hope your doctor is a little more warm next time.
11 weeks. Wow! Congratulations. I certainly understand about being disappointed about your interaction with the doctor--feeling comfortable with them providing your care is so important. The Hawaii trip sounds wonderful!
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