Feeling blah...

I am almost at the end of this 2ww, Friday is beta day. I am having a really hard time describing my emotions at this point--maybe because it is a hodge podge of everything. Sometimes I feel just fine, that this will work out, and then there are times that I feel fear slowly creeping in-I feel a knot in my throat, my chest and my stomach and I can't breathe (okay, maybe this is not fear, it is more like a panic attack). I know that there is nothing else I can do at this point but sit and wait. Either my little guys implanted and they are alive or they are gone by now. I have no control of anything that is going on at this point-I just have to accept my faith and if things don't work out we have to be strong and do this all over again. But I hope we don't have to face this.

We decided that S will get the results from the clinic and he will find a way to break the news to me-good or bad. I will give him a list of questions to ask for both a negative and positive outcome-because based on history he needs some coaching on the questions category.

On a positive note, if you guys are feeling up to it and want to hear some positive news on blogland, stop by Mellie. Mellie's blog is the first blog I found on IF and I posted my first ever IF comment on her blog! By reading her blog, I realized that I can meet some wonderful women who will be by my side thru this journey.

But in the meantime, if you can send some positive vibes to me and my cycle sister Sube in the next couple of days. We are cycle sisters to the T, we had a meltdown on the same day, we were retrieved on the same day, we both had 7 eggs fertilized and now we have our beta on the same day! My wish is that we continue this trend and we can celebrate together!