Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Feeling blah...

I am almost at the end of this 2ww, Friday is beta day. I am having a really hard time describing my emotions at this point--maybe because it is a hodge podge of everything. Sometimes I feel just fine, that this will work out, and then there are times that I feel fear slowly creeping in-I feel a knot in my throat, my chest and my stomach and I can't breathe (okay, maybe this is not fear, it is more like a panic attack). I know that there is nothing else I can do at this point but sit and wait. Either my little guys implanted and they are alive or they are gone by now. I have no control of anything that is going on at this point-I just have to accept my faith and if things don't work out we have to be strong and do this all over again. But I hope we don't have to face this.

We decided that S will get the results from the clinic and he will find a way to break the news to me-good or bad. I will give him a list of questions to ask for both a negative and positive outcome-because based on history he needs some coaching on the questions category.

On a positive note, if you guys are feeling up to it and want to hear some positive news on blogland, stop by Mellie. Mellie's blog is the first blog I found on IF and I posted my first ever IF comment on her blog! By reading her blog, I realized that I can meet some wonderful women who will be by my side thru this journey.

But in the meantime, if you can send some positive vibes to me and my cycle sister Sube in the next couple of days. We are cycle sisters to the T, we had a meltdown on the same day, we were retrieved on the same day, we both had 7 eggs fertilized and now we have our beta on the same day! My wish is that we continue this trend and we can celebrate together!

16 Comments:

Blogger Just another Jenny said...

The last few days of the 2ww is so hard. I'm thinking of you and hoping for the best.

May 23, 2006 9:48 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

I like the idea of S getting the news and then telling you. I might have to employ that technique to avoid self-implosion when I find out the news.

I will be thinking of you this week and hope you can find enough distractions to occupy you until Friday. I have everything crossed for you!!

May 23, 2006 11:18 AM  
Blogger Krista said...

Momo I am thinking of you this week and sending very positive thoughts your way.

May 23, 2006 11:35 AM  
Blogger electriclady said...

Hang in there Momo...just three more days! Hoping for the best for you.

May 23, 2006 12:26 PM  
Blogger sube said...

Oh I feel so special to get a shout out in your blog. I've been thinking about you all the time. It's been wonderful to have someone to go through this cycle with. I am hoping hoping hoping that you get good news on Friday. Not much longer to go.

May 23, 2006 1:38 PM  
Anonymous Watson said...

Momo,

The end of the 2ww is always the worst, isn't it? Good luck on Friday, I hope S delivers good news to you!!

May 23, 2006 2:42 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

I understand how you feel. This is a difficult week. I hope you come out of it with good news! I'll be thinking about you and checking in while I'm away.

May 23, 2006 2:45 PM  
Blogger Mellie said...

Momo - I so hope Friday brings you a happy outcome (and Sube too). A

And I'm honored to have been your introduction to the IF blogosphere! I'm hoping your tenure here as an IF is relatively short.

May 23, 2006 3:24 PM  
Blogger Alli said...

The 2ww SUCKS. It's impossible to find anything to distract you from the days ticking by. I hope everything works out for you.

Take care!

May 23, 2006 5:44 PM  
Blogger Chee Chee said...

I am hoping that you get some good news this Friday. David and I have the same arrangement as you and S, the nurse always calls him with our results. I prefer to get the news directly from him.

Good luck!

May 23, 2006 6:38 PM  
Blogger UtRus said...

hang in there. i am sending big hugs to you and hope for a BFP. i know i've said this before, but does it help?... what is already is, so try not to stress too much about the beta day. (that's so dumb. talk to me in 3 weeks when i'm in TWW. what an idiot)

May 23, 2006 8:28 PM  
Blogger Hopeful Mother said...

Yes, you are (logically) right about whatever will be, already is. It still makes the 2ww an absolute hell, though!

I am wishing and hoping the best for you!

May 24, 2006 12:05 AM  
Blogger Mary Ellen and Steve said...

Just want you to know that I am thinking of you. I hope that you have plenty to keep you busy until Friday. I am praying that you and Sube have some wonderful news to share with us on Friday.

Hugs!

May 24, 2006 11:27 AM  
Blogger Thalia said...

Not long til friday now, I hope you are holding up ok. Am thinking of you and sube and hoping that mellie's good news will work out for the two of you as well!

May 24, 2006 11:32 AM  
Blogger Ornery said...

The end of the 2ww is almost here! I'm thinking of you, and will be keeping everything crossed for you and Sube as you head to beta day.

May 24, 2006 6:16 PM  
Blogger ak1908 said...

It's almost that time and I am completely holding on to hope for this to be your cycle. It sounds like you and hubby have a good plan worked out. Sending you positive thoughts!!!

May 24, 2006 9:43 PM  

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