Finally a post

Sorry it took me so long to get back to posting. To say that it's been a little hectic around here is an understatement. O turned 6 weeks old last Tuesday and so far we are all doing well. A little tired and sleep deprived, but well otherwise. Life with a toddler and a newborn is hard, but hard in a different way compared to just having a newborn. With B, I was so paranoid and not having any idea what to do with a baby made it such a challenge. Now with O, you know what to expect so a newborn is not as overwhelming. But the challenge is trying to juggle a toddler and a newborn. You forget how often a newborn eats and asking your toddler to wait 45 minutes or so is almost impossible. 45 minutes for them is like an eternity. Having both children cry is something that you have to just accept and get used to. To date I still get frazzled but I keep telling myself that I can't be at the same place at the same time--and I have to admit that it is very hard for me to pick one child over the other--trying to figure out who needs me more. I feel like my days are comprised of feeding. I realized after first few days that I have to schedule O's feeding around B's schedule. Since I really can't feed both kids at the same time(more on the feeding later). Overall, B's been really good with O. He loves him to pieces..he loves to kiss him and constantly calls him his baby. It is super cute.

Now on feeding...I have low supply. Not that this is a surprise, it was the same story with B-even with this knowledge, I still had a hard time accepting it. I refused to pump the first couple of weeks--I think it is because I spent so much time with the darn pump with B. But when it was evident that my supply was really low-not enough to feed O the entire day-I realized that I need to pump or abandoned the entire idea of breast feeding. At the end of the day, the pump won. As much as I couldn't even look at that pump and was so angry for a long time, I took it out and started using it again. I pump 8 times a day..I know I like to torture myself. I still have to supplement with formula. O gets 21 oz of breast milk a day and 8 oz of formula. This is so much better from when we started. With B I was able to give him all bm after 10 weeks I think so I know I will get to that point with O where we don't have to supplement with formula--but I am not sure if I will still be doing this in 10 weeks. Our nanny is still here so this helps a lot. I can pump while she feeds O and the feeding regiment is not such a long ordeal for B. I don't think I can do this without her--it will just be impossible to pump and feed while trying to take care of B at the same time. I am taking it a week at a time and every succesful week of pumping is a victory. I know deep in my heart that I tried my best for my children, not just O, but for both of them, and this is something I can happily lived with.

B is doing well. He is getting his molars right now and it is just a b***h!! He is so congested and today he had a slight fever. He is not sleeping thru the night. Which is very painful--I've been functioning on about 2 hours of sleep the last couple of nights. I finally gave him motrin last night and that worked wonders! He slept until 6 am this morning!!! He continues to amazes us everyday!! His vocabulary is exploding..he just turned 22 months! He is learning so many new words every day. I look at him and I can't believe how grown up he is. It is hard to imagine that at one point he was as small as O. Everyday it seems like he is taller and bigger. I know that in a few months I will be having conversations with him and this just blows my mind away.

This is all for now. I promise not to let another 6 weeks go by without posting--besides I have way too much stuff to write about!