Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

It's Like Dating All Over Again

As most of you know, we just moved to our new "home" in June. We packed up all the things we owned and left all our friends and relatives. Everyone told me not to worry about meeting people..that with a new baby mothers will flock to me because there is this "mommy sorority" that everyone just wants to be your friend.

Well, guess what??!?? They all lied!!! We've been here for 3 months now and I can count in one hand how many people we know. Here is the list:
  1. Our neighbor
  2. Our landlord
  3. Our nanny
  4. Cleaning lady

There you go people!! It is pretty pathetic. And believe me I've tried meeting people. I called the library to see if they have reading programs for children and they said "oh yes dear we do" so I silently said a "woo-hoo" to myself. Then I asked for a schedule because during that time I was on leave of absence and it will be a perfect time to take B out and spend some mommy and me time. They said check on line and I said I did and I didn't see a summer schedule and the nice lady said "oh dear, we don't have any summer schedule since we can never fill the classes up--all the kids go away to their second homes". W.T.F???? How about for people who doesn't have a second home???? So needless to say, there was no reading program for B.

I was so desperate to meet people, I even attempted to strike a conversation at I saw a mom with her 1 year old boy in the baby food section. I was also buying food for B and we started chatting. She seemed nice, I told her that I was looking for a part time job and she said to send her my resume and she can forward it to her friend who is in the same field. We exchanged info, the next day I sent her an email w/my resume. She was nice enough and responded back and asked if I wanted to have coffee some afternoon since she works in our neighborhood! I was so excited, finally a "friend". I said yes, and guess what??? I never heard from her again!!!

So with this experience, I feel like I am dating all over again...every time I go out, I am silently hoping to see a mom and we can start a conversation, and then maybe we will get invited to a play group. Then if they don't call I start wondering why they are not calling back-was it something I said, did B not friendly enough?? This entire experience makes me cringe...I hated dating to begin with and having these same feelings again is just making me so uncomfortable.

B is starting a music class on Saturday. I know he doesn't even realize it, but I am so nervous about it. Maybe we will meet some moms....but at the same time I am worried... what if the moms don't like us and. What if all these moms already know each other and we are invading their little group? Or maybe we are not the right profile(sad to say that our neighborhood is a little bit on the snobby side). Argh!! Can I just say how much I hate this??!!??

Wish us luck...maybe, just maybe, we will get asked out on a date this Saturday.


Blogger electriclady said...

Oh Momo--I've been living in the same neighborhood for almost 6 years and I still have trouble making mom friends. I have a few mom friends I met while on maternity leave who all gave birth within 2 months of me (BG is oldest) but now that we're all back at work it's impossible to get together--I try to organize but no one ever emails me back. I remember when I was first meeting these moms it was EXACTLY like dating--is it too soon to call? does she really like me or was she just being polite?

And this weekend I got SNUBBED in the park by this group of SAH moms who have a big playgroup together--that I actually went to a few times while on mat. leave, but apparently now that I can't hang out on weekdays I'm not cool anymore?

We're going to a music class this Saturday too! Maybe you'll meet some other cool working moms. If not, you get to meet ME in two weeks! :)

September 12, 2007 2:35 PM  
Blogger The Dunn Family said...

That sucks! Can you see if there are any mother's groups in your area? I have no idea how you would find that out ... maybe through a local hospital or pediatrician's office? I'm going back to work soon from my maternity leave, so I never really made a point of making friends with SAHM's cause I figured once I go back, I would be on the outs anyway.

Good luck ... does sound like dating. Gosh, wasn't that all supposed to be behind us after we got married??

September 12, 2007 4:20 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Hah! That's too funny but it's so true! Did she like me? Was my son engaging enough for her kid? Was my son too loud? I just saw them on Wednesday, is it too soon to call again? Ugh! I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time meeting people. Maybe once the school year gets underway more kids will start popping up.

September 12, 2007 8:32 PM  
Blogger ak1908 said...

Oh Momo,
I'm so sorry that you're having such a hard time adjusting. We built our home in the south suburbs of Chicago almost two years ago and I still don't know any of our neighbors. The neighbors whose names I at least knew, moved away a few months ago (which was nice because they kept a terribly messy yard and their children were not well behaved at all). Anyway, I digress. When I lived out on the East Coast, I found it difficult to make connections with anyone outside of my job, although I did make many good friends there.

I can't remember if you're back at work yet, but perhaps that's a good place to start. It does really suck though because you have to keep a good filter on when you work with people and socialize with them outside of work.

Again, I'm sorry that you're having such a difficult time and I hope the light shines through soon.

The music class sounds fun!!!!

September 12, 2007 9:12 PM  
Blogger Krista said...

We moved three years ago and I found it really hard to make friends without a baby, I can imagine how hard (and yet very important) it would be with one to take up so much time. My husband now wants to move to the States. I can't stand the idea of moving again, especially with a new baby.

September 12, 2007 10:42 PM  
Blogger soralis said...

Hope you get a 'date' soon. I will be in the same boat soon when we move, maybe we can date on the computer! :) Take care

September 13, 2007 1:25 AM  
Blogger Kristi said...

Keep trying those library classes. I started taking Isabellla ridiculously early (she was 5.5 months) because I needed to get the hell out of the house. I actually met two really nice moms with daughters just a month older than my daughter, and we meet at the library every week now for a "date."

I hope you find a date at music class too. :)

September 22, 2007 4:24 PM  
Anonymous Deb said...

We have 2 boys, 6 and 4, and there are 2 girls behind us, SAME age, we had playgroup a few times and that was it! My kids like their friends at school better then the neighborhood kids. We dont go to the school the kids are supposed to.

September 28, 2007 5:49 PM  
Blogger ewe are here said...

Thanks for delurking over at my place. :-)

Making friends after moving has to rank as one of the hardest things to do ever, especially if you're staying home with wee one(s). It takes a tremendous amount of effort to meet and chat people up like, yes, the dating scene. We've lived in our current place for just over a year now, and I still feel like I don't have a lot of 'friends'. Tons of acquaintances, but very few I feel I could call to chat with.

October 08, 2007 11:39 AM  

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