Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

The post I've been dreading to write....for a long time....

So I've been thinking and thinking if I should write this post..a part of me is afraid of what people will think and another part of me feels like I am being greedy for doing what I am about to do. I am not sure how my readers(the few of you left) will feel about what we are about to it is...

We are trying for another IVF cycle...there I said it.

S and I have been thinking about this a lot. We know we want more children and we are not spring chickens either. We know that the longer we wait the chances of success gets lower. We are extremely blessed to have B in our lives and we are having such a good time with him--and I think knowing what this joy and happiness is all about is what motivates us to try and have some more children.

And then there is the financial aspect of the treatments. As most of you know, since I work for an company, they pay for all of our IVF treatments. The state of mandates that the insurance covers infertility treatments. We are entitled to 4 IVF cycles for our first child, if you are successful and have a live birth from these IVF treatments, you get 2 more IVF cycles for your second pregnancy. Not a bad benefit. And due to my work situation, S and I figured that we should at least try one more cycle before my contract with my job is over(my contract is good until March)--one cycle will save us thousands of dollars!! So this benefit played a big part in our decision making. We figured that we should at least try one more time and see where this journey will take us.

Honestly, we've been trying on our own since B turned 6 months. All that bad memory came flying back. I caught myself keeping track of my cycle(but I have to say I am not charting my temps..I am very proud of myself), getting anxious towards the end of my cycle, obsessing about impending AF--checking the tissue after going to the bathroom to see if any blood shows up. One thing haven't changed, I am still in dread of taking a pregnancy test. The past 4 cycles, I've only taken 1 pregnancy test. The same old feelings are back, I don't want to get disappointed, since I know that my body failed so many times before, I still can't handle seeing a negative pregnancy test.

So here we are, I have a phone consult with my doctor in this Friday. We decided to go with my old RE--I called around for doctors out here but a lot of them don't accept our insurance. We can go to them, but have to pay our out-of-network share, which after calculating the expenses will be in the neighborhood of about $5-$7K so we decided to go back to my RE. I will have to do my daily monitoring at one of the local clinics here and head to 3-4 days before retrieval. It sounds really complicated, but as I used to tell myself all the time, I will just have to take it one day at a time.


Blogger electriclady said...

Hey, this is kind of exciting! And as I told you, you shouldn't feel apologetic or greedy for going for #2. I don't think anyone reading this would begrudge you B. or another baby after all you've been through and especially knowing that you're going to go through IVF again.

November 06, 2007 11:18 AM  
Anonymous Nina said...

I just feel happy for you :-). You are ready for another one, that is just fabulous and you shouldn't have any other feelings than happy ones.

Hope IVF#2 goes as "smooth" as IVF#1. Good luck.

November 06, 2007 11:49 AM  
Blogger Beagle said...

Hey, why shouldn't you? I'm just sorry you have to endure IVF at all . . . but still . . .
Good Luck with this!

November 06, 2007 11:50 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

Good for you! And you have nothing to be apologetic about so go back to worrying about c/m, poas, and other "fun" things like that. :) And I'd love to see you when you're in Chicago so please call if you have time for a visit!

November 06, 2007 12:04 PM  
Blogger The Dunn Family said...

This is so exciting! I don't think you should ever feel like you need to apologize for wanting to increase your family. Those damn fertiles don't have to, why should we??

I really hope it works out for you guys quickly! I'll be reading along on your journey!

November 06, 2007 4:47 PM  
Blogger Krista said...

That's so exciting, why wouldn't you want to do IVF again, look how lovely it worked the 1st time!

November 10, 2007 3:29 PM  
Blogger Angie said...

I'm hoping the best for you! He is absolutely adorable!

November 11, 2007 8:09 AM  
Blogger ak1908 said...

I'm so excited for you that you will be trying for a sibling for B in the near future. You should email me when you get back to Chicago and we can have lunch.

I think it is perfectly natural to want more children. If it weren't for IF, you wouldn't think for a second that there is something wrong with wanting more than one child. Heck, I'm having twins and already mourning the fact that this is VERY likely our only pregnancy. I even got blessed with a boy AND a girl and here I am thinking about more children.

Who knows? Perhaps J and I will try again in a few years, when the twins are let's college. Just kidding.

Best wishes with round 2 and I will be following and cheering you on the whole way.

November 11, 2007 5:45 PM  

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