Day 5, Webcam and a little scare
We made it to day 5!! Woo-hoo. We are scheduled for a day 5 transfer tomorrow so I think it is a good sign. I am not sure how many of the 8 embryos are left, but I am hoping that majority of them are still growing.
Today marks 6 days that I haven't seen B...it hasn't been easy. Thank god for webcams!!! I've been able to watch him over webcam at least once a day. This is my new favorite invention!!! I don't know how I would have survived this week without it. Granted B probably had no idea what was going on, or why mommy was in this little screen...but it was such a treat to see him everyday-even though it was only for a few minutes.
Now for the scare. As I wrote on Tuesday, I was in a lot of pain...well, it was VERY PAINFUL to the point that I couldn't even walk or stand up. I left work early and once I was at my cousin's house I was pretty useless. After a few hours, I decided to take my temperature since I was just feeling so horrible. Well, guess what, I had a low fever, 100.1. My discharge sheet instructed to us to call the doctor if we have any of the symptoms the listed-and one of them was severe pelvic pain(which I had) and fever of 100.9 or higher-my fever wasn't as high, but since I had the pelvic pain I decided to page the doctor. Dr. K called me back and he explained that it is normal to have pelvic pain b/c of the procedure and that the fever is okay as long as it doesn't keep going up. He suggested that if I can tolerate it, to stay put and not go to the ER since they don't know what is going on and they will do a bunch of unnecessary tests. If my fever spikes up by the next day I was instructed to go to the clinic early in the morning. So followed his instructions, my fever keep going up, by 11 pm it was up to 102.3!! I was so afraid that I caught an infection and I started to feel some self pity. S already left, I was by myself and here I am developing an infection. I felt like I was being punished for wanting another child and I am greedy and this is what I deserved! I felt so helpless and all I could do was cry. I called S and I said I was really scared-what if I get worst, blah, blah, blah. He was really sweet and tried to comfort me and asked me if I wanted him to fly out-I said that is crazy and not to worry-hopefully everything will be okay by tomorrow. I tried to sleep-but I was in too much pain to sleep-it felt like someone took a needle and they were poking my ovaries. It was horrible. Luckily my fever broke early the next morning-the pelvic pain was still there but it wasn't as severe. I decided not to go to work that day and just take it easy. That was the best decision!
I feel much better now. I still wonder if we were pushing the envelope by wanting to try again, but I know it is just bad luck and at the end of the day I am okay. After all this, I was angry all over again about being infertile and that things are always complicated. I have so much I want to say about this subject, but I can't seem to put in down in words or write a coherent sentence about it. Maybe because I am so angry or nothing I say will change anything. For now I glad that things worked out and in 2 days I will get to see B again.
Today marks 6 days that I haven't seen B...it hasn't been easy. Thank god for webcams!!! I've been able to watch him over webcam at least once a day. This is my new favorite invention!!! I don't know how I would have survived this week without it. Granted B probably had no idea what was going on, or why mommy was in this little screen...but it was such a treat to see him everyday-even though it was only for a few minutes.
Now for the scare. As I wrote on Tuesday, I was in a lot of pain...well, it was VERY PAINFUL to the point that I couldn't even walk or stand up. I left work early and once I was at my cousin's house I was pretty useless. After a few hours, I decided to take my temperature since I was just feeling so horrible. Well, guess what, I had a low fever, 100.1. My discharge sheet instructed to us to call the doctor if we have any of the symptoms the listed-and one of them was severe pelvic pain(which I had) and fever of 100.9 or higher-my fever wasn't as high, but since I had the pelvic pain I decided to page the doctor. Dr. K called me back and he explained that it is normal to have pelvic pain b/c of the procedure and that the fever is okay as long as it doesn't keep going up. He suggested that if I can tolerate it, to stay put and not go to the ER since they don't know what is going on and they will do a bunch of unnecessary tests. If my fever spikes up by the next day I was instructed to go to the clinic early in the morning. So followed his instructions, my fever keep going up, by 11 pm it was up to 102.3!! I was so afraid that I caught an infection and I started to feel some self pity. S already left, I was by myself and here I am developing an infection. I felt like I was being punished for wanting another child and I am greedy and this is what I deserved! I felt so helpless and all I could do was cry. I called S and I said I was really scared-what if I get worst, blah, blah, blah. He was really sweet and tried to comfort me and asked me if I wanted him to fly out-I said that is crazy and not to worry-hopefully everything will be okay by tomorrow. I tried to sleep-but I was in too much pain to sleep-it felt like someone took a needle and they were poking my ovaries. It was horrible. Luckily my fever broke early the next morning-the pelvic pain was still there but it wasn't as severe. I decided not to go to work that day and just take it easy. That was the best decision!
I feel much better now. I still wonder if we were pushing the envelope by wanting to try again, but I know it is just bad luck and at the end of the day I am okay. After all this, I was angry all over again about being infertile and that things are always complicated. I have so much I want to say about this subject, but I can't seem to put in down in words or write a coherent sentence about it. Maybe because I am so angry or nothing I say will change anything. For now I glad that things worked out and in 2 days I will get to see B again.
posted by MoMo at 2:54 PM
3 Comments:
Ugh. It just isn't fair, isn't it? Why can't things be easy?
Glad you're feeling better--and good luck at transfer!!!
First of all, yeah for day 5 transfer! Do you know how many you are putting back?
Second, do not ever feel like you are pushing the envelope by trying for a second child. That's just the infertile in you. You deserve this just as much as any person who wants a first, second, third or fourth child!
Congratulations on getting to a 5 day transfer. I hope you heal well from the retrieval. 2ww's is right around the corner. I am 8dp3dt myself. Good luck!
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