Have a Beer and Rub Olive Oil

So that was the doctor's orders. First from Dr. Shut Eyes, when I went in for my 6 weeks visit, I told her that I am not producing enough breast milk for B(short for Benjamin) and her prescription was for me to drink beer. I've heard this from my MIL before--I guess she did this when she was breast feeding S and his sister. I was a little shocked and I asked Dr. Shut Eyes if this was okay for the baby--and she said that I am only having 1 beer at a time and not 20 beers! So, I did have about 2 bottles of beer the last week, the first bottle, I only drank half a bottle and started feeling light headed. I guess this happens if you haven't had any alcohol in about a year! I am happy to say that the days that I did drink alcohol, my milk supply increased! The feeding is getting better, I am still pumping and feeding. I am pumping about 3 to 4 ounces per pumping--which is just enough per feeding for B. I am not sure what I will do once he needs more than this--I hope the milk supply will increase. Oh, and she also told me to take Fenugreek--and I've been taking this too. Amy from Tales of the Lazy Ovaries suggested this too!

Update on the rash and B's condition--the pediatrician suggested that we rub olive oil to help the dry skin-I thought olive oil is just for cooking...but guess what ladies, it works well for dry skin! I was very pleased. I think B thinks it's food, because he tries to lick every time I put it on. He is doing really well, the rash is almost gone and he is changing everyday and it is just amazing to watch!!

So, I officially go back to work on the 23rd of March--but as we all know we are moving to NY so that is not going to happen. I still need to tell my boss--which I am not looking forward in doing. Ironically, I found out 2 weeks ago that I got promoted--can you believe that?? Now that I am quitting, I get promoted. Oh well, I just keep telling myself that if we weren't moving, would I really want to go back to work? Probably not...or if I did, I would probably want to do it on a part time basis...which is not an option for my position.

One month visit

Last Thursday I took my son to his one month visit. He is doing well overall. He's gained 2 pounds since birth--he is now 7 lbs 15 oz and 2 inches longer (20 1/2 inches). According to Dr. P(the pediatrician) he is doing really well and gaining weight really well. Considering my breastfeeding struggles this is really good news.

Speaking of breastfeeding...I've decided to pump and feed. This was a really hard decision for me to make, but I had to do this to figure out if I really need to give him supplement of formula. It turns out that I do. He can eat about 4 oz per feeding and I can only pump about 2 1/2 oz per feeding. These last couple of days was better, I am now up to 3 to 3 1/2 oz per feeding. Although I miss the contact with my baby, I am at peace with this decision. I want to make sure that I am doing the best for my baby and it seems like this is the best compromise.

Here is the downside...Benjamin developed a really bad rash(looks like eczema) and baby acne all over his face. Dr. P advised us to us a special cream for his face...well this turned out to be a bad move. He ended up really red and his eyes got swollen!! This prompted us to return to the doctor's office the next day! I felt so horribly. Dr. P is not sure what is causing the rash and we are trying a few new things this weekend. She thinks that the baby might have a bad reaction to fabric softener so we are not to use this anymore in our laundry. She also advised us to get a humidifier--she thinks this might help since his skin was so dry. In addition, he might be allergic to protein from the formula...but again it is hard to tell. She wants me to continue giving him the same formula this weekend and if his condition doesn't improve in the next couple of days, we are suppose to switch to this special formula that doesn't have the protein. I broke down when she told me this. Not only am I inadequate to produce enough milk for my him, now the formula that I am giving him might be causing all of his skin problems!!! I have no idea what to do anymore--I need to do what is best for my baby...I thought supplementing with formula will make him happy--he looks happy and satisfied, but now we have these new issues to deal with. Dr. P doesn't want me to switch over to the special formula just yet, because we will never know if the "regular' formula is what is really causing the rash. She said to continue with what I am doing, stop the cream and see if there is any improvements.

So here we are at 5 weeks and 4 days and still struggling. His conditions improved a little bit this weekend, but still not a 100% gone--I guess all I can hope for is that it continues.

Breastfeeding Woes

Benjamin is now 4 weeks and 5 days old. There are things about a newborn that I was prepared for, but the one thing that really hit me is the breastfeeding. You hear it from people and read it in all the books that breast milk is the best thing for the baby and don't even dare giving the baby formula. So I had it stuck in my head that I can only give my baby breast milk and don't I even dare to give him formula. Well this change when he was born prematurely. With a premature baby, one of the things that doctors and nurses worry about is their blood sugar level. They have to maintain a certain blood sugar level--if they don't maintain a certain level of blood sugar, then they have to go to NICU. The only way that they can maintain their blood sugar level is by eating. Now keep in mind that right after birth, you don't have any breast milk-since this was the case, the nurses said that they have to give him formula and if we don't and his blood sugar level is low, then he might have to go to NICU. All I needed to hear was NICU and I said go ahead. So from day one of his life, he received formula. The entire time we were at the hospital, we had to give him formula for a few reasons, to keep him from loosing too much weight and to maintain his blood sugar level. I think I forgot to mention his stats when he was born..he weighed 5 pds 15 ounces and 18 inches long.

We all went home after 3 days. At this point I was only giving him breast milk. We had to go to the pediatrician almost every other day the first week. The first day we visited the doctor we found out that he has jaundice...no big deal. A lot of babies get this. We found out at that time that he weighed 5pd 9 ounces. The doctor wasn't overly concerned. We went back 2 days later and he lost another ounce. At this point the doctor made me change his feeding regiment...I know have to supplement with formula every other feeding! I was devastated. Needless to say, he gained 7 ounces in 2 days and everything was wonderful! They had me supplement him for another week and then we are now on pure breast milk.

Here is the problem, he is always hungry. I don't think I am making enough milk to satisfy his hunger. I cry about this all the time. I have this guilt of giving him more formula--I feel like such a bad mother for doing this to him. But I can't have my baby go hungry either!! I had a lactation consultant come and we figured that the baby was getting 2 ounces a feeding. Which is not bad, but the problem is that Benjamin can probably go for 3 to 4 ounces!!! I want to continue to breastfeed my baby....but I want him to be happy too. I feel so guilty, I thought that this was one thing I can do successfully. Getting pregnant was not easy.....turns out that staying pregnant to the end was not going to be my experience either...so I figured breastfeeding was one thing I can do good at...turns out I fail that one too.

Did I also mention that our house goes on the market today? This makes me very sad because it solidifies the fact that we are moving and starting a new life at a new city that we know nothing about.