Follow up

Since we are dying to get some answers, S pulled some strings(okay more like begged) and was able to get me an appointment with an OB yesterday. I have to go to a new OB since we moved last summer and I have yet to pick a doctor. We were hoping that since they are the experts on pregnancy, that they will have some answers to our situation.

Well, that was very optimistic. I met my new doctor and she is really nice. I actually liked her a lot. She talked to Dr. W who did both of my u/s and he explained what he saw. Unfortunately she doesn't really have any other information for us other than what we already knew. My OB agrees with Dr. K that I should be monitored with a weekly u/s. I am scheduled for another one next Monday and she said that if the sacs are still there(I asked her how many Dr. W saw yesterday she said 5 so up by 1 sac from the first u/s), then she will refer me to a perintologist. Great. More poking. I guess I will take this if it means we can get some answers and solutions. She is hoping that they are just sacs that will dissolve on its own-I asked her how long it can take for this to happen. She said as long as twelve weeks. My next question was what happens if they are still there after 12 weeks-and her response was let us not go there yet. Okay..that didn't make me feel good.

So I decided that for now, I just have to focus on the one heartbeat and hope that he/she will keep growing. And maybe he/she can kick some a** and make the other mysterious sacs go away!!!

Lastly, thank you all so much for the support for the last couple of weeks. I don't know how I can get thru this without all you great ladies. You have no idea how much your encouraging words means to me. You guys are all rock stars!!

It doesn't get any easier

More sacs or whatever you want to call them. I really don't know if they are sacs...at this point I started calling them circles. There are more than the four that we saw last time-I think I counted six this time. Dr. W really didn't want to give me any information-I think since he is not my doctor he doesn't want to give me any diagnosis-understandable. He mentioned hemorrhaging and that scared the crap out of me. There is still one heartbeat at 145 bpm-thank god. But it is so hard to enjoy this completely with this big unknown.

I finally heard from my clinic-and it is Dr. K and not the nurse-I don't find this a good sign. He said he can't tell what they are-they might be empty sacs or blood clots-like this is better-I don't even know what happens when you have a blood clot-does anyone know-will they even know? Since he said we only transferred 2 embryos, the likely hood that these are sacs are low-so pretty much he doesn't know what they are. Great...makes me feel good about the treatment we are getting. He wants me to go for an u/s every week until we get some answers. I asked if this will hurt the baby and he said no since they are all independent embryos. And at the end he says that let us hope that the baby keeps growing and what ever happens happens. This doesn't make me feel good at all.

So here I am, full of anxiety. I am trying to enjoy this P as much as I can, but it is very difficult given the situation. I've searched the int.ern.et and can't find any information. Maybe because I really don't even know what I am suppose to be searching for. Maybe if I can stop crying, I can think of the correct search words. Please..someone help us...

Sh*t they both split!!

Dr. K's exact words. I can't believe this. I read about this issue all night last night and it does happen-an embryo splitting after the transfer. There are a few cases out there were 2 embryos were transferred and ending up with triplets. Favorite nurse actually said that they had a recent pregnancy with 2 embryos transferred and resulted into triplets.

So what do I do now...I go for another u/s on Tuesday. Favorite nurse said that it is a possibility that one of the 3 will develop a heartbeat...I guess anything is possible at this time. Or it may simply just be a blighted ovum and it will just pass itself. They really can't determine anything until we go for another u/s.

I am not sure how to really comprehend this or react to it. I am scared-I think the chances of being pregnant with quads are really really small, but of course I think about it. The sacs were empty...not even a fetal pole...so I think the chances of any of them being viable are really small. So here we go again...waiting for another week. As I said before the waiting is always the hardest part of this situation. I always thought after the u/s things get a little easier...well obviously not.

Huh...how did that happen??

Well, S and I went to the u/s sound today...and we saw 4 gestational sacs and 1 heartbeat???? How did this happen???? I am just floored. I mean..they transferred 2 and how could their possibly be 4 sacs? Dr. W-the local doctor at my clinic couldn't explain it either. He said if they transferred 4 that this makes a lot of sense. He was also thinking that one might have split into triplets(holy cow) but the sacs are too far apart and they are not all the same size. He counted them as sacs but could it be a mass of fluid?? I thought I heard him say this but maybe I am making it up since that doesn't make any sense. He said, I am for sure pregnant and one of the sacs has a little flicker of a heartbeat. I am 6w1d today so they couldn't really measure the heartbeat...it was there but just not strong enough-which is normal for how where I am with this P.

As usual..I am still waiting to hear from my clinic. And based on experience from this cycle I have to call them and hound them for my results. They used to be so good about getting me my results..I am not sure if it is because I am out of state and I get lost in the shuffle. I want to know if they've seen this before.

So I guess I am P with a singleton-and the other 3 sacs-well I am not sure if it can ever be explained or what will ever happen to them.

Sigh of Relief

Third beta is in--and I am happy to say that it looks better than last friday. HCG is now up to 4,608 and progesterone is 115. This is a doubling time of 48 hours,,,whew!!! I was such a mess this weekend, I just kept thinking that if this is not going to work, please let this end and don't let it drag out. Thank you so much for all the support--I really don't know what I would do without this community. Next up is u/s next Tuesday. Today, I am 5w1d p...if I calculated correctly. Thank you!!!

2nd beta--I am not sure how to feel about this

Just got to call for my 2nd beta and it didn't go double at a good rate.

HCG-1,155
Progesterone-108

Per my calculation this is a doubling time of 80.25 hrs. ARGH...Favorite nurse said that I am pretty close to where they want me to be-around 1,200 but this still scares the crap out of me. God please let this be okay. Ladies, I am really freaking out. Not only is HCG didn't double at a good rate, the Progesterone went down too..not by much but it is done. Please...please...please.

I go back tuesday..and that is too long to wait. Excuse me as I hide under a rock until then....

Finally the phone call

Well, ladies, here it is--and this is not what I was expecting....

HCG=763

Progesterone=112

Holy cr*p!!! Is there anyone in blogland that can tell me that at 11dp5t this can possible be a singleton?? I am freaking out just a bit....S well, I can't even talk to him.

I go back tomorrow for a second beta. I won't even go thru whap happened and why I didn't hear from my clinic yesterday....I am too mad and frustrated to even go into it.

I am really happy and relieved but I have to admit I am a little scared. Thanks everyone for the support.

Mad, Angry, Frustrated, Pis**d O*f!!!

I can't believe this, I never got a call from my clinic today regarding my beta!!!!! WTF!!!! I mean the 2ww is the worst part of this freakin cycle and for them not to call about the result??? That is just unacceptable. I don't really know what happened--maybe it is b/c of the huge snow storm in Chic.ago and they closed the office?? or maybe they never got the results from the local office here?? Whatever it is I am just beyond pis**d o*f!!! In all of our paperwork they say to give them until 7pm for call backs--well if you wait that long the office is CLOSE and you don't get to talk to a live person. I called at 4pm Chic.ago time and the office is already closed..I left a message but of course that went to la la land!!!!

I did break down on Monday and POAS-9d5t and we saw 2 lines...I know I should be jumping up and down and but I really can't accept that this is real until the beta. I've never seen 2 lines before so you understand why I am so skeptical. I want to believe it is real, but afraid that it is the after effects of the 2 HCG shots I had to take. Oh, this is so painful.

ARGH....ARGH....ARGH.....please someone help me end this misery.

Unfair

I was going to write about how this 2ww sucks..but that seems really pointless when Mary Ellen and Steve is suffering so much. ARGH!!! I can't even write a coherent sentence. ME's been on my side from the very beginning and she's been so supportive even though she was going thru her own IF hell. I hold a very special place in my heart for Sylvia, Claire and Lucy.